Book Review: The Scars that have Shaped Me
My newest scar is long but it isn’t my ugliest scar. The ugliest scar is the one I woke up with after an emergency splenectomy when I was 16 years old.
I had been losing blood so fast that I was mostly unconscious for three days and unable to understand what was happening. There was no time for anyone, my parents or doctors, to explain to me what they were about to do, mainly cut my abdomen open from below my belly button, straight up to my sternum. No time for me to digest the threat on my life or the scar that would forever remind me of it.
My abdominal scar has been used two more times, once for an emergency cesarean section and once for a spinal fusion. My perinatologist suggested she could “clean it up a bit” when she delivered my son Joshua. So, ironically, that ugly scar is actually less ugly thanks to two more surgeries.
Even though it is a reminder of the day my son was born, a day of incredible joy, that long scar is my least favorite because of the emotions tied to the first surgery, the splenectomy I was completely unaware of and had no control over.
Scars carry more than a reminder of a physical injury. They carry emotions and trauma. Each of my scars reminds me of the pain of recovery and the weakness and fragility of my body. But my scars also carry healing and victory. They remind me of my health and the gift of life.
“Scars represent more than I ever realized. They can be beautiful. The dictionary says “a scar is a mark left by a healed wound.” A healed wound. My scars signify healing. And even though my initial flesh wounds have healed, there is yet a deeper healing in acceptance.” - Vaneetha Risner
Scars that Shape Us
In The Scars That Have Shaped Me, Vaneetha Rendall Risner shares the spiritual journey represented by her scars. She shares her story of life-long illness (Polio & Post-Polio Syndrome) and trials (death of a child and loss of her marriage) with simple writing and honesty.
Each chapter is written like a journal entry or blogpost making this book a quick read. It may be quick but it's also packed with great theology. With vulnerability, Vaneetha reminds herself and her reader of the unchanging character of God, even in the midst of illness and loss. While my own scars and suffering are different, I found I could relate to something in every chapter which is a testimony to the presence of the same God with both of us.
In her book, you’ll find many of the same themes I write about: lament, waiting, loneliness, acceptance and dependence on God, and the sustaining grace of His presence.
“Our faith is not a facade we erect to convince ourselves and others that pain doesn’t hurt — it is an oak tree that can withstand the storms of doubt and pain in our lives, and grow stronger through them.”
Vaneetha shares some of the ways her mind has tried to trick her into denying God’s goodness. And she shares how God has sustained her through His word and His people.
I relate so much to her struggles with worry, self-reliance, doubt and weakness.
“I often extrapolate present difficulties into the future — which is the crux of not trusting God. Those difficulties may never present themselves but even if they do, God’s grace will be there to meet me. Even if the worst happens, God will not fail me.”
This Book is for You
This book is endorsed by John Piper, Paul Tripp and Joni Eareckson Tada. It is published by Desiring God. Those names should reassure you that Vaneetha’s faith is biblically sound and the encouragement you’ll read within the pages of her book will lead you straight to the heart of God.
Vaneetha is highly influenced by Joni Eareckson Tada so if you like Joni's books, you'll love this one. Buy it here.
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