The pain in my right leg comes and goes. Today, it comes, beginning in the hip and spreading down the outside of my thigh, past the knee, and continuing to my ankle. The nerves in my leg don’t interpret sensation correctly. Am I being stung by a bee? Have I over-extended my knee? Did I break a bone? I must investigate to find the answers.

I’ve been here before. I know this pain is the result of walking a bit too much yesterday. My leg is tired. It is sending “I’m tired” messages to my brain but the damage in my spinal cord muddies the message. My brain interprets the message it receives as “I’m in pain” and responds accordingly.  It tells me “You are hurt. Stop what you are doing and investigate the cause.”

I do a skin check. Other than a new bruise, I find no cuts, blisters, or noticeable damage. I decide to sit and rest. The couch will be my home for the next few hours, maybe a day.

This is life with a spinal cord injury.

Spinal Cord Injury and Pain

Most people with spinal cord injuries live in constant pain. They take medicine to dull the pain but it comes with nasty side effects. My pain is intermittent. Rest and Tylenol are enough. Even on days when I need to cancel plans or take an extra nap, I’m grateful. I know the pain will stop, eventually.

Living in a body that sends false signals is frustrating. It is especially frustrating when my body says “all is well” when, in fact, things are not well. Last year I broke three bones in my foot and I didn’t know. My body told me “something feels off.” I needed more urgency but the message from my foot never got to my brain, so I continued to try to stand on my foot. It didn’t work and I couldn’t figure out why. Even while the X-ray tech lined up my foot for a picture, I insisted the X-ray wasn’t necessary. “I would know if I broke my foot,” I insisted. But the picture was clear, three broken bones (a fourth was found later). That’s when I realized pain is a gift. 

The Gift of Pain

In Dr. Paul Brand’s book The Gift of Pain Brand says pain is the body's built-in warning system that something is wrong and needs to be fixed. As the son of medical missionaries, Paul became a doctor treating leprosy patients in India and the United States. He refused to believe leprosy was contracted by touching an infected person. His work with leprosy patients led to the discovery of the bacteria that causes the disease. As a direct result, the life-expectancy and quality of life for leprosy patients increased.

Dr. Brand discovered that most (if not all) of the horrific symptoms of leprosy are caused not by the offending bacteria, but by a lack of pain. For example, he watched as a patient stepped on a nail and without feeling pain in his foot continued to walk on the injury, causing infection that spread into the tissue and eventually led to the amputation of the foot. “Dr. Brand’s work with leprosy patients is what convinced him that pain truly is one of God's great gifts to us."

The book begins with a horrific story of a baby with a very rare (thank the Lord) genetic disorder that made her painless. She chewed off her fingers instead of chewing teething toys or snacking on food. The description of her short life turned my stomach and I closed the book convinced I couldn’t handle reading to the end.  If this is what the first pages are like, how can I finish the book?

But the Holy Spirit prodded me. I felt a strong pull—I needed to read this book. Bravely, I re-opened the pages and continued.  I’m glad I did.

The Gift of Pain reads like a memoir. It’s captivating in an other-world-like way. Dr. Brand’s compassion seemed boundless. He touched his patients. He watched them interact lively with other leprosy patients but withdraw from the public out of shame and self-preservation. He stayed awake at night to protect his patients from hungry rats that snuck in to snack on their flesh. The whole thing was almost unbelievable and yet, so utterly believable.

Time and again, he found that lack of pain was his patient’s worst enemy.  I nodded, understanding and wishing I didn’t.

I give The Gift of Pain 5 stars and recommend it to everyone, especially to medical personnel, caregivers, and those living chronic pain. It is a mindset shift to think of your pain as a gift, but it is a shift that brings God glory. His design is perfect. Until we arrive at our heavenly home where there is no pain and no tears, only perfect peace and union with Jesus, we will encounter pain. How we live with the pain shows where our hope lies.

Fiction Recommendation about Leprosy

Did you know that there was a leper colony in America?  To understand what life was like for a person living with leprosy before Dr. Brand’s discovery, I recommend The Second Life of Mirielle West by Amanda Skenandore. 

It is a fictional story of a socialite in the 1920s who contracted leprosy and was sent to the  National Leprosarium in Carville, Louisiana.  Carville, as it was known, was a community and hospital for leprosy patients run by nuns. People were sent to Carville against their will and could not leave until their disease was deemed “in control.” Carville still actively treats patients with the disease now known as Hansen’s Disease and a few patients have chosen to remain on-site.

I love sending my subscribers special goodies and encouragement straight to their inbox. One of those goodies is a list of 12 Verses to Help You Endure. I’d love to send it to you.